What you Know VS What you Beleive you can do!

Confusing as it may sound this will in the end make sense. I am not 100% sure what triggered this thought but I heard something and boom there it was. I have to first say I am sure I was already in a bit of a suggestible state of mind as it occurred to me as I was driving and in deep thought about the recent loss of two good friends and thinking about legacy.

So here we go; it’s going to be a bit of a ride.

What you know you can do! This is all the crap that thanks to life's events,education and just experience, you know that when asked you can say I got this. For me as a photographer this really falls into the category of 99% of my commercial work. At this point, after this many years there’s too much that comes my way that throws me or causes panic (note this is in the realm of the work I do IE architecture,annual report stuff and of course my Fine Art work.) you call me for a fashion shoot there is going to be some panic if I say yes to the assignment but I will most likely turn it down. Not because I can’t to it but because, I do not want to do it. It’s just not my thing. But this will lead into the believe part in a bit.

The fact is there are a lot of things in life I know I can do, be it photographically or otherwise. For instance install a new garage door, fix a window, change the oil in my car or build a bookshelf. I know I can do this stuff because I have done it or I know the skill set and tools needed, I have the tools or can borrow them and I can complete the project at hand. The list of stuff I know or I know I can do can be endless if we want to list every little thing. But that's not the point. The point is to know is simple and then you do what you know and there is no fuss over it.

My wife often asks me, “How did you know how to do that?” The honest and simple answer most often is I am not sure I just do. Now of course we all have youtube to lean on for the things we think we can do if we had just a little guidance and it often all works out great, however is a big difference between what we think we can do and what we believe we can do.

What do I mean when I say I believe I can do something. Well it is like this. Let's take the business I have. I did not know I could do it or even to be honest think I could do it . I mean running a business and being self-employed, is to say the least not all that easy. But I did believe I could do it. There was something in me that I could just feel pulling towards it and I believed that if I just worked hard enough, I may just pull it off.

So for me to beleive I can do something is a little like having a dream or an idea for a project (yes that is where this is leading) . This all popped into my head as I was pondering the loss of two close friends recently both to young in my opinion both great people and accomplished in their own ways, yet very different people. Probably the one effecting me the most was an artist and photographer like myself but he really was so much more. Now that he is gone I look at all the conversations, memories, and sharing and watching in a way his legacy roll by on facebook and in emails it has caused contemplation like one may expect.

The question of what am I leaving behind, what legacy will there be for others to remember me by? What am I leaving that I will be proud of? Now I am talking other than the kids and that family legacy I am thinking about my artistic legacy. Something that lives on past me to show what I believed I could do and what I believed in.

There is a lot of fear in this belief thing because I do believe I can do it, but I have no idea if I know or think I can really pull it off but as they say it is time to find out. So I am waking up a dream I have been working on for a number of years and I even have a lot of the prep and planning done.There’s a ton more to do to make it happen. This project will happen and I believe will be that artistic legacy I am after and can be proud of. I do not care if it makes any money or if anyone else beyond my immediate family and friends even ever know about it, but I know they will be proud of the work and I believe I will be to.